How to Help a Parent Who Hoards
Growing up in a hoarded home is a traumatic experience. Conflicts arise between the adult child and parent due to a number of issues related to the hoarding disorder. Fortunately, adult children can help a parent who suffers from a hoarding disorder and keep them from living amid chaos.
What is a hoarding disorder?
A person who hoards suffers from a complex mental health condition. Hoarding occurs when the individual refuses to discard their excess belongings, whether or not the items possess utility or value. The parent experiences severe distress when parting with these possessions.
A parent who lives with a hoarding disorder struggles to make decisions, problem-solve, and keep the home organized. Decluttering their home is a massive undertaking that leaves them feeling overwhelmed and anxious. As a result, the home becomes an unsafe place to live.
How does hoarding affect the family?
A home shared by family members is a joint living space. But due to hoarding, parts of the home become unlivable, creating conflict. The kitchen, for example, can be piled high with dirty dishes and pots, leading to a loss of countertop space and the intended use of the area.
Financial issues arise when the parent with a hoarding disorder spends on frivolous items, often without discussing their purchases with the family. When the money could be better used on life essentials, financial conflicts develop between the adult child and parent.
Family members are likely to feel helpless, frustrated, and angry when the parent with a hoarding disorder “claims” a part of the home as their own, dumps their hoarded belongings there and controls the space. Family members are no longer able to make independent decisions about the home.
Cleaning a parent’s hoarded home is another area of contention. The parent who hoards may perceive the adult child’s well-intentioned attempt to clean the home as a violation. In consequence of the loss of trust, arguments between the parent and adult child arise.
How do adult children help a parent who hoards?
Family members are right to feel concerned about a parent who hoards. The cluttered home is a fire risk. Pests and vermin infestations are likely. As home maintenance is ignored and the roof leaks, mold colonies form. The parent may socially isolate, being embarrassed to invite friends over. Below are some helpful tips for helping a parent who hoards items.
1. Bring Up the Hoarding Issue
Whether or not the home is shared by other family members, an adult child should broach the hoarding issue with the parent. Approach the parent with empathy and understanding, rather than blame. After all, genetics, anxiety, trauma, and life experiences are factors that contribute to a hoarding disorder.
The adult child may offer to help the parent manage their hoarding behavior. By avoiding criticism and judgment, the parent is likely to feel less defensive and more open to acknowledging their hoarding problem. Focus on their safety and on finding a solution.
2. Find a Licensed Therapist
Offer to help the parent find a therapist or a mental health professional who can assist them in managing and overcoming their hoarding disorder. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a first line of treatment, whereby the parent explores how their thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes affect their behaviors.
During therapy, the counselor is involved in creating a manageable, step-by-step action plan to help the parent gradually reduce their hoarding impulses. The parent also gains insight into their disorder and develops coping strategies as a result of working with a mental health expert.
A licensed mental health professional may prescribe medications, like anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs, to treat the underlying depression or anxiety contributing to the hoarding disorder. Selective serotonin uptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are known to alleviate hoarding disorder symptoms in some adults.
3. Set Achievable Goals
A disorder as serious as hoarding does not resolve immediately. Managing the disorder is a long-term process whereby progress is slow. Avoid pushing the parent to declutter quickly, as it can lead to frustration and disappointment. Rather, set small, manageable cleanup goals.
Cleaning out even one room in the home deserves recognition. Celebrate the small victories with an enjoyable outing, such as going out for ice cream. By showing love and support, the parent is motivated to continue decluttering and improving their overall quality of life.
4. Help the Parent Clean
A hoarded home is a safety concern. Families are advised to prioritize safety issues as they help the parent clean. Remove tripping hazards, such as loose rugs and cords. If the parent lives alone, consider providing them with a medical alert system in the event of falls or other emergencies.
Suggest a professional organizer or a hoarding cleanup service that specializes in hoarding cleaning to help with not only decluttering the home but sanitizing and disinfecting the space to return it to a hygienic, safe and livable condition.
Professional Hoarding Cleaning
Cleaning clutter in the home from hoarding can be overwhelming. Our technicians at RestorationMaster are trained to approach individuals suffering from a hoarding disorder with compassion and empathy. We show respect for the person’s home and belongings, thereby building invaluable trust. The hoarding cleanup begins on their terms, which ensures it gets done. RestorationMaster’s specialists will clean the home using safe products and advanced equipment. We remove excess items, then deep clean the home. Disinfection of the property follows, along with a thorough deodorization. Odors that can be present in a hoarded home may come from pests, tobacco, or animal waste.
Unwanted possessions are disposed of in the following three ways: recycling, discarding or donating. If biohazards are removed from the property, the materials are properly disposed of in a medical waste facility. Hoarding cleaning services are done in compliance with OSHA, the EPA, and the Department of Transportation. If you or a loved one are in need of clutter cleanup, call our trained restoration specialists for assistance.